Saturday, November 28, 2009
Point Of No Return
Because... no matter how much older my cousins grow to be and no matter how much wiser we all become we are still the same group of people we have always been. Our interactions have changed slightly, but the core of who we are when we are all together is still the same. For better or for worse.
When I was young I was what people considered a "goody-two-shoes." It would seem that I have changed since then. When I was young I was a sweet but precocious only child with ADD, who became painfully shy around people my own age after several years humiliation. I've learned a lot since preschool, but that little girl is still in me somewhere. At times I hate it and would rather she just go away because not everyone I meet likes her. Indeed, as smooth as I try to be she still lingers like a faint fragrance waiting to be discovered. But she is me and I love her.
So, I have realized this Thanksgiving that there are no two ways around it. Some people like us and some people don't. Of course, that doesn't justify unkindness towards anyone. I suppose it is a fairly elementary concept, but is not something that I have ever easily accepted. It's much more fun to try to reach people's worlds and meet them there. I don't like locked doors. I want to open them. Yet sometimes the keys seem to be thrown at the bottom of the ocean.
Perhaps someday I will find them, or maybe I never will. And the sad thing is that just because a person doesn't like you it doesn't mean that they don't need you, or that you don't need them.
Such simple concepts, I know. But, like I said, I don't like them. They feel like defeat to me-like giving up. Dear Ms. Streisand and her people that need people... Maybe that is really all of us... ?...
On another note, soulmates exist... or so I have started to believe. It's the waiting for them that makes you grow. In the meantime I must face myself and with God's grace embrace all.
Early Morning Poetry
-Of All The Souls That Stand Create-
Of all the souls that stand create
I have elected one.
When sense from spirit files away,
And subterfuge is done;
When that which is and that which was
Apart, intrinsic, stand,
And this brief tragedy of flesh
Is shifted like a sand;
When figures show their royal front
And mists are carved away,—
Behold the atom I preferred
To all the lists of clay!
Emily Dickinson
-If You Were Coming In The Fall-
If you were coming in the fall,
I ’d brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spurn,
As housewives do a fly.
If I could see you in a year,
I ’d wind the months in balls,
And put them each in separate drawers,
Until their time befalls.
If only centuries delayed,
I ’d count them on my hand,
Subtracting till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemen’s land.
If certain, when this life was out,
That yours and mine should be,
I ’d toss it yonder like a rind,
And taste eternity.
But now, all ignorant of the length
Of time’s uncertain wing,
It goads me, like the goblin bee,
That will not state its sting.
Emily Dickinson
Friday, November 27, 2009
Kate & Kate


Tuesday, October 20, 2009
To Top It Off


More recently I wandered around the city to find a shoe repair shop. After asking a charming barber for help I finally made my way to a shop owned by a sweet older man named Jerry. Jerry did wonders with my boots. They were a mess and now they look as good as new and he only charged $15.00
It's been cold here in general. I'm not ready for the cold. But it's inevitable of course. At least I can wear my new hat...
I couldn't find a theater near me playing An Education... Although I did watch Mad Men... of course. And it was fabulous... again... of course.
I met a charming young man the other day... :) To my surprise he was a few years younger than me and yet seemed about as level-headed as many of the guys my age... Maybe even more mature than a lot of them. I don't know what to think of it... For some reason I've always had the idea that I would end up with a guy older than me... moreover in the past I've almost always dated the oldest son in the family.... The fellow I just met is the youngest of three boys... I doubt anything will come of it. However, it has opened my eyes to what might really work best with my personality. Sometimes I think it really is true that a person must fail and try again and again to really get something right... At least in romance?
Friday, October 9, 2009
Above It All

I took a walk to the library wearing three and a half inch heels... I made it there without much trouble... but I couldn't make it back. So I had to call a friend who lives near the library to come bring me a pair of shoes. Ridiculous. I know. But I could not go without shoes and I certainly wasn't going to wear my heels for another second. My feet would probably have just detached themselves from my legs and ran far, far away...

(ps I am also very excited about the recycled wool coat that I just purchased, as pictured below.)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Fashionably Noxious

Friday, September 11, 2009

Last night my mother and I decided, yet again, to go for a walk. However this time we also ate at a nice little restaurant nearby. I ordered a piece of chocolate layer cake and coffee. It was pleasant, but really eating fruits and vegetables straight from the garden is my preferred treat. Silly sounding I suppose, but it's true. I have never been a big fan of chocolate. I know, it's odd or perhaps even blasphemy to some people... but I really do love my freshly picked tomatoes, cucumbers, chives, lettuce and a nice vinaigrette.

Then we walked past a little bridal boutique that always features one particularly lovely dress in the window. I'm not sure who the designer is... but I LOVE it. The fabric is soft and luxurious but also light and airy. It's serious and elegant and yet modern and fun. Yay! I loved it...





