Saturday, January 9, 2010

Outside the box

I think "the new crush" may be fading in his interest at the moment, if there was any to begin with. And this would usually bother me, but at the moment it sort of does and sort of doesn't. I've been working at being in a better place to deal with all the requisite drama of romance, but I think my current emotional state has more do with other matters.

Long ago now, in late summer of last year, I decided to pursue an answer to a puzzle that has been nagging me for years. With the help of a friend of mine I think I may be almost at the point of an answer. And while I don't exactly have all the words to describe this mad romp of Internet research and phone calls I can say that it involves family drama from the past. Of course. And maybe once I can put all the pieces together I can shift my attention to other matters, such as what in the world I'm doing with this life that God has given me. :)

I feel as though I have been waiting for a while now, holding this "box" filled with family history. I've been trying to live life as usual, knowing full well that if I could just "open" the box I would have a lot of answers to questions that have bothered me, as I said, for years. But, I didn't have the key... Now I think the key may be in the mail, both figuratively and literally.

Of course this is all so vague sounding, but I have to write something about it and yet I can't really write about it. So... there you have it.


kate maggie said...

Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading this. I have had this feeling many times.

Muirin said...

Really? Yeah... It's an odd one. Isn't it!?

And no, thank you for your comment. :)