Saturday, November 28, 2009

Point Of No Return

At what point do we change from who we were to who we are becoming? Or are we always just the same person? Perhaps we grow. Perhaps we become better or worse versions of ourselves but at the end of the day we are always just... us.

When I was young I was what people considered a "goody-two-shoes." It would seem that I have changed since then. When I was young I was a sweet but precocious only child with ADD, who became painfully shy around people my own age after several years of humiliation. I've learned a lot since preschool, but that little girl is still in me. At times I hate it and would rather she just go away because not everyone I meet likes her. Yet she is me and I love her.

So, I have realized that there are no two ways around it. Some people like us and some people don't. Of course, that doesn't justify unkindness towards anyone. I suppose it is a fairly elementary concept, but is not something that I have ever easily accepted. It's much more fun to try to reach people's worlds and meet them there. I don't like locked doors. I want to open them. Yet sometimes the keys seem to be thrown at the bottom of the ocean.

Perhaps someday I will find them. For some it seems that I have, with time found the key. And the sad thing is that just because a person doesn't like you it doesn't mean that they don't need you, or that you don't need them.

These are such simple concepts, I know. But, like I said, I don't like them. They feel like defeat to me-like giving up. Dear Ms. Streisand and her people that need people...

On another note, soulmates exist... or so I have started to believe. It's the waiting for them that makes you grow. In the meantime I must face myself and with God's grace embrace all.


Danielle said...

I stumbled upon your blog and I love it! I just created my own, if you get a chance I'd love for you to check it out!

Muirin said...

Thanks Danielle! :)