I also decided from my conversation with Ben that I need to stop being such a chicken in regard to other men... So I'm going to get back up on the saddle, so to speak. I've been holding off on communicating with several old crushes, who I never dated, because I feared the potential rejection. I don't feel so scared anymore. It's odd, but I'm not so worried about what will happen. And, although it won't change the outcome, I think that's much healthier.
Furthermore, I am going to write the people in Great Britain about being a potential student there. I think that's just something I need to do. Life doesn't stop for anything and the time I spend musing over my options needs to be spent making risky, but all too necessary decisions and then dealing with the outcomes.
Besides, a cousin I'm growing closer to may be living in Paris next fall and how much fun would it be to visit her while living in Wales?! If the highest price of being a tough cookie is a cheap trip to Paris, then I think I like those odds. In any case, I pick strength instead of desperation and hope instead of despair. And... I need to take care of myself.
The following picture, entitled "On The Street... The Stillness, Melbourne," is from The Sartorialist, at: http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/. I feel that this picture sums up what I feel inside. Just the way the wind hits her skirt and the look in her eyes is so magnificent, and of course her choice of color combination is extraordinary.
ps After posting this I directly sent a few messages to a few guys... Yeah, scary and unlike me but it felt good. I think I may resolve to do one terrifying thing daily from now on.
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