As of this moment I am in defense mode. After having ignorant and narcissistic customers belittle me and my co-workers it's not fun to read an awkward comment made on my blog by some random person named "Amy"... (I just deleted it) I know, I know this is a public blog... but still. Maybe I've just been spoiled. Up until today everyone who has commented on this blog has been AMAZING. Really. And I also realize that by making a big deal about the one, silly little comment some sad person made it is only going to make the would-be bully feel all the more powerful. But I don't care. For God's sake, literally, it's the holiday season. I'm sorry my writing structure doesn't meet with your high and mighty standards. I apologize that I bored you. /:
So to clarify, "Amy", I can't stop blushing because I don't enjoy feeling scrutinized by men and especially, as is almost always the case with me, when I can't read them. So much for men being simple... They aren't, despite their adamant proclamations that they are. So, in any case, I don't just blush because I find him attractive. See, I have this impression that he just really thinks I'm a loser compared to him for some reason and that embarrasses me. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. He just seems like the sort of guy who has girls falling for him on a regular basis without even trying. Perhaps it's because women are fools for his type. First, he's well dressed, but not too well dressed. Second, he is polite and has a great deal of poise. AND, most important, he is masculine in that refined, intellectual, "indie" sort of way that is so glamorous right now. Actually he sort of resembles Seth Rogen, now that I think of it, but Seth Rogen dressed for a media event, not Seth Rogen's character in Knocked Up.
Anyway, needless to say, he hasn't done anything remotely close to asking me on date... And despite my angry and critical words I am disappointed. And it's not just because I wanted to "get some" for those of you who would sadly, think something so naive. ("Amy") Oh no. I just had this dim little hope that he might be an exception- that he might just be a nice person with taste who just happened to fancy me. I thought that maybe he would even be a person who I could have good conversation with... just enjoy life with... Oh well.
As for my post title, lately I feel like the little pieces of the world have fallen into chaotic myopia. People are a little crazy and a little stupid. I know it probably really isn't that "big of a deal." History is filled with more shocking and turbulent moments than the present, but this is a mind rattling era to be alive. I can't remember a period of time in my life when I have felt the world teetering so close to the edge... And I don't believe that that has anything to do with my youth and inexperience. I imagine the 1960's may have felt a bit like the present... from what my father once told me. But it's different than the 1960's... Of course, we, in America, had a period of relative wealth and security leading up to this time, but it wasn't exactly the America of the 1950's...
I don't know... I guess I just feel like running away sometimes. But I have no idea where to run to... Because people are people and no matter where you go there will be selfish and ignorant people there to meet you. And at times, of course, I must be one of them, because if I thought I wasn't that would make me even more ignorant and selfish than I may already be... Wouldn't it? :)
Humor is such a lovely thing. Truly lovely. The other day I went last minute Christmas shopping with a friend of mine and I found a shop that was selling plastic religious memorabilia along with lamps, plates and other random... stuff. In the photo above, which is sadly a bit fuzzy, there is a Vegas style version of the last supper that lights up when you plug it in... And I'm pretty sure that's a miniature windmill next to it. Yeah. I didn't buy it for anyone. I hope that wasn't a mistake. By the way, I am a Christian and I love the actual painting of The Last Supper... but I still think this version might even make Jesus laugh.
My gosh. I sound like Holden Caulfield, don't I?! Haha. Oh well. I love The Catcher in the Rye anyway...
2 comments:
I think you should make a game out of thinking of clever ways to innocently and elegantly flirt with this indie beau. The goal: to make him smile. So if he smiles at you, you win! And if you think of it as a game you're less likely to get all nervous and bashful around him. :)
Also, your writing structure is lovely, darling.
Wishing you a less teetery new year filled with joyful discoveries and peaceful reveries.
Oh Laura. You are so sweet and kind.
I love your idea. I really do. It is brilliant in fact. And who knows, maybe I might even try it. ;)
In any case, you are a thoughtful friend my dear.
Post a Comment